


wish that you were here

by orphan_account



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Body Horror, Gen, Graphic Description, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 06:07:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26468434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Hazel eyes wrench shut as the blond pushes himself off of the mattress. His exposed cheek hurts tonight, and he’s awfully thirsty. When he stands, though, Dream’s gaze automatically moves to the moonlit items on the table before the windowsill.There’s a cowboy hat with a pale lily laid upon it, next to a candle that someone had forgotten to put out.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 74





	wish that you were here

Another nightmare jolts Dream awake. 

He sits up with an alarmed start, tired eyes somehow finding the strength to widen despite the heavy bags beneath them. He doesn’t remember what the nightmare was about, but he can probably guess.

Staring at the wall for a few seconds, heart racing, Dream turns to his left where Bad is resting in bed. The older man doesn’t seem to be having much better of a time than Dream was, tossing and turning in his sleep with occasional displeased or frightened grunts. He’s still asleep, though, and Dream is relieved. It’s not uncommon for him to wake his friends with his midnight thrashing.

Hazel eyes wrench shut as the blond pushes himself off of the mattress. His exposed cheek hurts tonight, and he’s awfully thirsty. When he stands, though, Dream’s gaze automatically moves to the moonlit items on the table before the windowsill.

There’s a cowboy hat with a pale lily laid upon it, next to a candle that someone had forgotten to put out.

Dream reaches for the hat and carefully picks it up to examine it. 

The pale moonlight makes the skin of his hands hauntingly contrast to the deep brown of the beaver felt. It’s soft in his hands, and if he focuses, he can feel the outline of little scratches and tears in the fabric. A distant memory resurfaces from what feels like years ago, one of Dream and a certain someone entering a pharmacy and explaining that he’d gotten that very hat with his family.

He tries not to think about what happened to that certain someone, but his mind forces him to anyway.

_ The walker digs its teeth deep into the flesh of Sapnap’s forearm. He’d left it rolled up that day, claiming it was easier for his scrapes to breathe that way. At the time, they’d just rolled their eyes and told him to be careful, smiling. _

_ “Sapnap!” He takes the mask covering the lower half of his face off to shout, as if the mask was the problem and not the swollen bite mark on his best friend’s arm. _

_ Sapnap’s eyes are wide and horrified, and he harshly tugs the bloodied limb away to sucker punch the walker in retaliation. It drops to the ground, still somehow clinging to life as it reaches for the Texan’s ankle. Dream makes the split-second decision to run over and stomp the half-decomposed head until it stops growling at Sapnap. _

_ Next to Sapnap, Skeppy drops the supplies he’d gathered to vomit. Dream thinks he might do the same. _

_ He can see the tears welling up in Sapnap’s eyes as he leans against the shelves of the drugstore they’d been looting. If Dream squints hard enough, he can see a rotten tooth from the walker embedded in the skin. The bitten man shakily covers his arm to staunch the bleeding and Dream swears he can see his skin already losing its color. It makes him want to scream. _

_ “Oh my  _ god _ ,” Dream breathes, reaching out to his best friend as George and Bad finally sprint over from the other aisle at the sound of a commotion. He doesn’t need to look at them to know they stop in their tracks at the sight of vomit and blood painting the tiles. _

_ Sapnap smiles sadly and reaches up with the arm that’s not covering his wound to wipe at the blond’s intact cheek, and oh—he hadn’t realized he was crying.  _

_ “Does—does anyone have a medkit?! Somebody stop the bleeding, get disinfectant,  _ please— _ ” He begs as he forces himself to turn away and look at the other three of their group. Bad’s eyes are watery as he shakes his head. They didn’t bring anything; they’d scoped the area out earlier and hadn’t planned further than looting the pharmacy. _

_ Cursing to himself, Dream turns back to the Texan. There’s significantly more blood than there was a few seconds ago and he wracks his mind for a solution, an idea, anything at all. _

_ It comes to him suddenly—his hatchet. _

_ Suddenly the weight on his belt becomes thrice as heavy. _

_ Dream’s hands are shaking as he slips it out of the holster. Walker mouths are extremely filthy. Mix that with an open wound, and you’re practically guaranteed to get sepsis. Dream can’t let that happen to Sapnap. He can’t let him turn—he’s not ready to say goodbye. _

_ When his eyes meet Sapnap’s again, they flicker through what seems like every stage of grief before settling into a somber understanding. He knows what the blond has to do if he has any chance of surviving. _

_ Sapnap rips a piece of cloth from the cleaner side of his shirt with a concerning amount of struggle and stuffs it into his mouth. Helping him lay down horizontally, Dream grits his teeth at the pained moans that echo through the drugstore. _

_ He already knew his axe was clean. They hadn’t run into any walkers today, apart from the fucker that had bitten his best friend, and he’d had the good mind to clean it with hydrogen peroxide last night. The drugstore was also only about an eighth of a mile away from their new hideout, where there’s plenty of medicine and bandages. If they’re quick about this, Sapnap will make it back home. _

_ From where he’s standing, Dream can’t see Bad, Skeppy, or George. The only reason he remembers they’re still there is by the sound of Skeppy still dry heaving the last of his breakfast. He tightens his hold on the handle as he gets into a kneeling position above Sapnap. “Can.. can someone hold him down?” _

_ An intake of breath is the only sound for a few seconds, before begrudging footsteps begin to echo towards Dream. When he looks behind him, George and Bad are approaching, while Skeppy looks away. Dream doesn’t blame him. _

_ George takes a seat to Sapnap left and presses his full body weight onto the bitten man’s arm and shoulder. Next to him, the hooded brunet is carefully pushing down onto Sapnap’s chest, taking extra care not to get near the injured arm. Under normal circumstances, Sapnap could’ve easily overpowered both of them simultaneously—but these aren’t normal circumstances. _

_ They’ve got grave looks on their faces that tell Dream they’ve already accepted what’s to come. The blond assumes he’s got an expression to match. _

_ Finally, Sapnap’s eyes flutter shut with a deep breath and a nod to Dream. _

_ He raises the axe as far back as possible before bringing it down only a few inches above the Texan’s elbow. _

_ A muffled scream tears its way from Sapnap, sickeningly loud even with the gag. He thrashes in an attempt to escape and blood spurts from the newly made gash. George and Bad press down harder, and the latter reluctantly covers Sapnap’s mouth to ensure no nearby walkers will hear what’s happening. _

_ Dream raises and chops again. The Texan is now openly crying, and his headband is drenched in sweat and blood in a way that looks sort of like a watercolor painting. He seems torn between continuing to fight and relaxing to get it over with. _

_ There’s so much fucking blood. He thinks he might pass out, and he’s not even the one getting his arm cut off right now. Distantly, Dream hears Skeppy retch again. _

_ He just wants this to be over with already. One final time, he raises the axe and slams the bit of the hatchet down into flesh bubbling with blood. He hears the crunch of a bone finally snapping and an agonized cry from his best friend, and he knows he’s finally through. _

_ Throwing the axe to the side, Dream takes off his flannel to press it against the bleeding stump of what used to be Sapnap’s arm and begins helping him sit up with the aid of the two brunets. _

_ Dream makes the mistake of looking at the amputated limb on the floor. It’s quite possibly the worst thing he’s ever seen in his entire life—a bloody lump of meat, the only color left being the now almost-white of Sapnap’s skin and the black of his sleeve. The most painful sight was the still-spurting artery staining the visible bone a bright red. He forces himself to look away so as to avoid meeting the same fate as Skeppy. _

_ Sapnap’s eyes are half-lidded and steadily crying as he stares at his severed arm on the floor, breathing heavily. He doesn’t react whatsoever and just stares at it, which almost scares Dream more than this entire situation combined. _

_ “Hey, hey,” Bad soothes into Sapnap’s ear, grabbing a hold of the fabric pressed against the bloody wound so George can help Dream pick Sapnap up. “It’s okay, it’s over now, Pandas. The hard part is over. You did it. You’ll be okay.” _

_ The man in question only nods and whimpers when Dream finally settles him into his arms and begins walking at a brisk pace. _

_ At this point, Skeppy’s done throwing up, and has recollected the supplies he could get his hands on by the time the three of them walk out of the drugstore and make their way towards the hideout. He’s uncannily quiet, and Bad—who is usually one of the quietest out of them all—is the only one who makes any noise beyond panting and groaning, still comforting Sapnap while they trudge along. _

_ It’s almost three minutes later when they finally arrive back home, but it feels like hours. ‘M’ glances up at them from where he’s sitting on a log and inspecting a map, before jumping to his feet at the sight of Sapnap and running to where they keep their medical supplies. Tommy and Tubbo are nowhere to be found. He’s glad they aren’t here to see this. _

_ Dream lays him gently on the grass, and reaches for Sapnap’s right hand—the hand he’d always held when one of them needed comfort—before realizing it’s gone, he’d cut it off, it’s still back at the drugstore where Dream will never let anyone set foot in ever again. _

_ When ‘M’ returns, he’s carrying all of the supplies he can carry, and starts to point at Bad to go grab the rest before he actually gets a good look at Sapnap. _

_ The Texan’s skin has already turned pale and ashy, void of all its usual color, and the eyes that used to look at Dream so fondly when he made a shitty joke now stared at nothing from within sunken pits. His nose had begun bleeding on the way over, which was smeared across his face from where it was pressed against Dream’s shirt. His stump is still steadily bleeding, despite Bad’s best efforts, and the grass beneath Sapnap is already a sea of red. _

_ ‘M’ looks vaguely despaired, and it’s the most emotion Dream’s seen him express other than frustration since he’s met him. He turns to them and shakes his head, raising a hand to tap his middle and index fingers on his thumb in a gesture he’d taught everyone.  _ No _. _

_ “What do you mean ‘no’?!” Dream rages, suddenly angry. “He can still make it, he— we made it this far! What the fu-” _

_ A hand suddenly clasps onto Dream’s wrist, and it’s cold and clammy but he pauses and looks over anyway. Sapnap’s looking at him with this sad but still comforting expression. Dream wishes the color would return to it as he grabs it and squeezes. _

_ His voice is raspy when he speaks, sore from his screaming earlier. “Dream,” Sapnap says, making eye contact. His eyes are beginning to go unfocused and dark like some of the walkers he’d seen before. Like the ones he’d killed before. “I’m-I’m too far gone, Dream. You n-need to shoot me.. please…” _

_ He points to a nearby pistol. It’s the one Dream had accidentally shot himself in the face with, and the uncovered wound tingles in memory. _

_ Dream can’t handle it. He dissolves into ugly sobs, clenching as hard as he can onto Sapnap while he wails and blubbers, not willing to let go and accept that this is the end. Not willing to accept that he wasn’t fast enough. That his best friend will be gone. _

_ Behind him, George shakily places a hand on his shoulder. Dream doesn’t need to look to know he’s crying as well. _

_ After what could be anywhere between a few seconds and an hour—he doesn’t bother trying to think about how long has passed—the blond sits up and reaches for the gun with trembling hands. _

_ When he finally meets Sapnap’s eyes again, they’re just as wet as Dream’s is. He musters a weak grin through blood-smeared lips. “I kn-.. knew you could do it...” _

_ “Please, Sapnap… p-please don’t make me shoot you, I don’t want to.” He begs as a last ditch effort, raising the barrel. He already knows it’s loaded.  _

_ Sapnap lets a final tear slide down his sunken cheeks. His eyes stray from Dream to look at the men behind him—Skeppy and Bad are holding each other while weeping, ‘M’ is turned away, though his shoulders are shaking, and George is refusing to wipe away his tears.  _

_ “I love you guys. All of you,” are his last words, before he closes his eyes. _

_ Dream takes a deep breath and fires. _

The candle flickers on the window sill. Dream blows it out and goes back to bed.

A headband is tied around the beaver-felt cowboy hat. It’s stained a shade of red that’s only barely visible in the moonlight and vaguely looks like a watercolor painting. 

There’s no bullet hole to match.

**Author's Note:**

> based off of @/o0oSocko0o's mcyt zombie au on twitter and @/HyperCryptic_'s animatic


End file.
